Shirlena
Shirlena '(November 24, 1963) is Danny's ex-wife. They divorced in 1999. They were married for 15 years. She has been seen at his house, usually talking about tragedies in her family or arguing with Danny. Her father died in around 2001, while her mom was said to be 'on her way' in a 2006 video when she was talking with Danny. Since that was over 10 years ago, her mother could well have died since then. Appearance Like most characters in the Tourettes Guy videos aside from Danny and his equally foul-mouthed father, Shirlena's face is never visible. Glimpses of Shirlena in the video show that she is caucasian, of average build and height, and has long, black hair. Personality Shirlena appears to be quite irritable, much like Danny himself, often yelling at him for his antics. Examples include when he laughed at a story about her Alzheimer's-suffering grandfather, and when she threw a bowl of cereal at Danny after he accused her of sitting at home and, in Danny's perspective, "play with your tits, and look at your ass at the same time!" Things Shirlena Likes & Hates Things Shirlena Likes *Fucking everyone in Bismarck, ND (according to Danny, anyway) *Cooking Spaghetti (but according to Danny, her spaghetti sucked dick!) *Knocking on Danny's door (especially if he's taking a shower) *Playing with her tits and looking at her ass at the same time (according to Danny, anyway) *Telling the doctor whatever she pleases (even if it's something Danny thinks the doctor doesn't need to know about) *Talking about Danny's dick (much to Danny's annoyance, especially without his permission) *Kicking Danny in the balls (she plans to do it someday) *Throwing cereal at Danny (if his annoyance pushes her to the limit) *Eggnog (she's the one that dicks with it) Things Shirlena Hates *Danny not taking her stories seriously and laughing at them (especially the one about her grandfather being stuck at K-Mart for 2 hours) *Danny calling her grandfather "an ass" *Danny laughing at her stories *Being told "Fuck you!" by someone else (especially Danny) *People arguing with her (especially Danny) *Her grandfather's Alzheimer's disease (especially if it gets worse) Relationships Danny Shirlena and Danny are ex-spouses. The nature of the marriage is most unknown. It was likely their relationship ended in a bitter divorce in '99, as Danny and she, while still oddly close, are prone to bickering with one another on a constant basis. Danny claims that she "was fucking everybody in Bismarck!" and that "her spaghetti sucked dick!" Shirlena often drops in unannounced and mostly comes for condolences and comfort on her behalf, but often gets the complete opposite from Danny. In one video, she is telling Danny a story about her Alzheimer's-suffering grandfather, to which he bursts out laughing much to Shirlena's dismay. In another video, Shirlena is at Danny's house for unknown reasons and upon knocking on the door to the bathroom where Danny is residing, he yells out "WAIT A MINUTE, YOU DICK!" to which Shirlena replies "I don't have a dick, you prick!" Danny then acts surprised at her appearance, exclaiming "Shirlena?! Ah, SHIT!" Shirlena's Son Shirlena has mentioned having a son. It is unknown whether he is also Danny's child or from a previous/current relationship. Despite it being stated that she is now very close to her son, not much else is known about him. Quotes *"I don't have a dick, you prick!"'' *''"My poor Grandpa is standing there with his pants around his ankles and one of the workers is yelling at him to get out of K-Mart!'"''' *"Danny, are you laughing?!"'' *''"I'll kick you in the balls!"'' Category:Tourettes Guy Category:Females Category:Female Characters Category:Sagittarius